Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize