tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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