I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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