You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
