In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
please don't ironically join a cult
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