my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
