Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
