What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
