Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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