in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
