how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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