dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize