check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
