So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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