I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
