That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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