Kiss
Puke
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
