We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
