dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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