Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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