Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
