i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
