problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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