It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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