What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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