Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
