You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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