Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
