Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
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I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
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No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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