well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
