our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will be naked everywhere
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
