I love having hate sex.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
