the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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