His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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