he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
