Got a toothbrush?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
