You're a womanizer and a bitch.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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