im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize