He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
