her vagine was all disorganized.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
