im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
