One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
