I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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