I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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