I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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