you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
