its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
