Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
