She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize