Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
