According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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