What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize