tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
