It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
