You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
