sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
