be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize