she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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