Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
3 2 1 whiskey
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
