If i could tip my vagina, i would.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
