hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize