she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
