I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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