Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
