Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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