google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Randomize
