What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
