Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
